I am trying to stop the struggles in my mind, and in my heart. I realize the more I struggle, the more I suffer. The characters in my story change. The scenery changes, but still I struggle with the same issues, over and over. I think it is different, but it is actually the same story. I am older, and the problems are larger and more complex. There are larger consequences than when I was a child.
We carry our grievances and disappointments as if they were some kind of treasure, not willing to let go of them even when they are drowning us. Even when the end is near we still struggle to hang on to our pain and sorrows, refusing to let them go.
What if there is life after death? What if there is life after life? Coming back, doing the same thing over and over again? Expanding our karma again and again for lifetimes. Not realizing that if I want my life to be different, I have to live my life differently. I cannot do the same thing over and over expecting different results. This is the insanity. We have all been living this way for a long, long time. All of us have been perpetuating this, the same storyline for ages. It seems this is the story of the human condition.
Now I can see clearly the stories of our lives, the story of my life, our delusions, our confusion, and our insanity.
I will let go of these struggles and I will battle no more.